A couple of weeks ago I went down one of those YouTube rabbit holes and ended up delighting in the exploits of Stoffle the Honey Badger (as well as other related honey badger content):

I’m now trying to write a honey badger into a reverse portal story which takes place largely in Toronto…if only honey badgers were native here. Although I am starting to wonder if trash pandas are cribbing their playbook.

Stoffle’s attempts to get out of his cage came to mind this weekend. There’s a house for sale on our street which is about twice the size of our current bungalow. Real estate is a perennial Toronto obsession, but I also come by it via family tree as my mum’s time as a real estate agent took place in my formative years. So I’m the nosy neighbour that goes to most open houses in the neighbourhood.

The house as listed is…a little crazy. It looks like it was beautifully kept, but it also looks renovated room-by-room over the last 40 years, so that each era is represented. There are a whole bunch of different tiles, flooring options, wall coverings, windows, lighting…you get the idea. As a result, it’s a bit of a steal.

To be clear, we are not moving. I cannot handle a move right now, and:

• We have all the space we need, even if it’s not always the kind of space we want (no walk-in closet is my number one complaint), and it is much kinder to the Earth to keep it where it’s at.
• Our house is sort of at the nadir of our home maintenance in that we moved in 14 years ago, and have been raising young children since, so in the natural life cycle of homes we will start fixing everything we’ve broken/scratched/scuffed…any day now.
• I’d rather travel and spend money on education in various forms (from the boys’ upcoming tertiary education to my own interests) than increase our house debt.

But…like the honey badger working his way out of the cement enclosure only to go break into his keeper’s home, I can’t stop planning the possibilities in this other house. In some ways I gave that house more rent in my head this week than my own home.

Dissatisfaction is part of the human experience, and is what keeps us learning and growing and helping other people. And gratitude for what we have is what keeps us grounded. I feel like midlife is so much about living in the space in between.

And being crafty, with sharp claws, and ready to stand up to a pride of lionesses.